Resolved Question: fwb for 11 years dont know what to do?

Met a guy when I was 17 went out for a year then saw each other for fwb for a year I met somebody else moved away h ad a baby he stayed in touch we met a few times when iwas away but just as friends,moved back home saw each other on and off as fwb allways been there may not speak for months would allways sort my car out take it to the garage text me to see how iam we could go weeks or months but i have always known he will come back,last year slept with him decided I wanted an end to it bumped into each other 6months later told him I wanted more both of us were very drunk,he contacted me recently wanted sex said no then we were both out and went back to his house and slept togather I really do think I want more with him really dont know if he is just useing me ,should i just end it or come clean with my feelings thanks for your help more

Resolved Question: I am trying to sell my Diesel Model Mitsubishi and found nothing but scams!!?

Does any one know of any legit places, also see some of the bogus emails I received!! Dear Sir, compliments of the season,i saw your item for sale on the internet.i am willing to buy if the condition is still okay,May i know the final price ,the pic and the weights.i shall expect your favourable response today. Best regards, Mart. GOOD DAY I AM A SCOTLAND DEALER .I WILL LIKE TO BUY YOUR (Classic Series II LWB Southampton UK) PLEASE GIVE ME ADEQUATE INFORMATION REGARDING ITS CONDITION AND HOW MUCH DO WISH TO OFFER LAST,HOPE IT WILL NOT BE HECTIC CHANGINGITS OWNERSHIP.PLEASE LET ME HEAR FROM YOU. BEST REGARD (Eds note: email address @yahoo.com) Hello, I am a car and bike dealer based in Huddersfield. I saw your advert placement on the internet and I am interested in buying your Green, 1991, G registered. Please forward me your final asking price only. My shipping agent will handle the shipping and pick-up. Also indicate if you will accept a cashier check drawn from a UK. bank for payment. i anticipate your early reply .Thanks, MARK..... (Eds note: email address @kittymail.com, Hong Kong Powered by Outblaze) Hello, THanks for the mail,so i am o.k with the price so i will like to have your full name full address with your phone number so i can inform my client in Uk to send you to the sum of £4,900.so the rest of the money will be sent back to the shippers that will come for the pick up in your location. So i will like you to know as soon as as you get tcheque you will deduct your amount and send the balance to the shippers. mark THANKS (Eds note: email address @kittymail.com, Hong Kong Powered by Outblaze) Hello, I browsed through your internet where you placed your ads and i will like to purchase your Mitsubishi Pajero 2.6 litre turbo petrol lwb 4x4 which is going for £2800 ONO, did you accept a cashier cheque?drawn from the u.k bank, if you do kindly send me your informations(name,address and your cell phone)so that the cheque can be send to you.ASAP REGARDS, WILL. (Eds note: email address @email2me.net, Mallorca, Nameserver at Outblaze) hello, i am interested in buying your Mitsubishi Pajero 2.6 litre turbo petrol swb 4x4 Manchester UK ,and i will also want you to send me the total price and the pics,and present me the condition of it. Thanks, Roland.. (Eds note: email address @outgun.com Hong Kong Powered by Outblaze) Good day, I am a business man in Dubai, i would like to have the auto has i understand it is for sale (Mitsubishi Pajero), so then i will like to know your last offer so that i can make my payment,but if my offer is accepted by you,then i think i should i will like to see some more pics of it and i also want to let you know that i intend paying for it with a check drawn from a uk bank due to the fact that wire transfer these days is not safe for payment,so then i will kindly wait you,as you reply soon,so we can get on with the transaction immedaitely. Thank you very much as i await your reply. (Eds note: email address @justice.com Free email addresses from California USA Hello, THanks for the mail,so i am o.k with the price so i will like to have your full name full address with your phone number so i can inform my client in Uk to send you to the sum of £7000.so the rest of the money will be sent back to the shippers that will come for the pick up in your location. So i will like you to know as soon as as you get tcheque you will deduct your amount and send the balance to the shippers. THANKS i am interested in buying(5dr Station Wagon)which cost (?4300.00) for one of my client located in South africa first i will like to know the present condition and my method of payment will be by a certified cashiers check drawn in america funds this payment will be made by one of my contact in the U.k who is owing me sum of (?8000.00) and you are to deduct your amount of Suzuki and send the remaining funds to the shipping agent who will come for the pickup,they are shipper who take care any of my shippment and my client is ready to send you the cashier check as so! on as possible.If that will be possible for you then you can provede your name and address including your phone so as for me to instruct my client to to forward the check down to you ASAP. looking forward to hear from u I AM A DEALER THAT BUYS AND SELL UESD ITEMS, AM INTERESTED IN BUYING YOUR Suzuki SJ410 YOUR PRICE £750 POUNDS IS OKAY BY ME , SO I WANT YOU TO PROVIDE ME WITH THE FOLLOWINGS; YOUR FULL NAME: ADDRESS: PHONE MNUMBER: THE PICTURE: THEN I CAN ARRANGE FOR THE PAYMENT AND SHIPPING. West Africa A follow up email after a person has expressed an interest in accepting an offer for over the asking price. now to start with the transaction, im paying you with certified cashier check i will get intouch with my client in state to send the check of $9,000 to you along with the shipping fee im not telling you to do the shipping for me, my shipping agent will do the shipping for me, what you will d more

Resolved Question: Do you ever read the personal add's, this one is choice?

AN ACTUAL PERSONALS AD To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last. Date: 2009-05-27, 1:43 a.m. E.S.T. I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend, threatening our lives. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message . First, I'd like to apologise for your embarrassment; I didn't expect you to actually crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket. The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason. My girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head ... isn't it?! I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown sludge in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse walking bare-footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. [That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again]. After I called your mother, or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you'd done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as those of four other people in the gas station, -- on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 150 gallons and was extremely grateful! I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!] I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at the curb ... after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the car. Later, I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone. Ma Bell just now shut down the line, although I only used the phone for a little over a day now, so what 's going on with that? Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target . The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number etc.). In a way, perhaps I should apologise for not killing you ... but I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider, the career path you've chosen to pursue in life. Remember, next time you might not be so lucky . Have a good day! Thoughtfully yours , Alex more

Resolved Question: (UK) Who else thinks that new tv ad about co2 emission - Drive 5 less miles a week is ridiculous?

As if anyone's going to pay any attention to that! What a waste of money that advert is! Instead they should put more money into developing electric cars (with the hope of eradicating the petrol/diesel car eventually), bring the price of electric cars down dramatically (within affordable range), create thousands more power points (to charge your car) across the country (not just in cities). Have cycle lanes on EVERY road, not just the odd main road here and there. And voila, a step in the right direction. more

Resolved Question: I have finshed my short story is it ok? Truthfully?

Death in the Soul The taxi door opened as I stepped inside, unaware of what was going on. I sat quietly in the back of the car. It was about 1:30pm when I got called, just after lunch. We scrambled into the classroom. It was maths my favourite lesson the part of the lesson where I could relax and easily go through all the questions. So there I was singing along to my I-pod while doing the extra question out teacher had set us .When there was a loud knock at the door which made each one of us jump almost like a Mexican wave. ‘Come in!’ we all shouted. The door creaked open slowly and to our surprise it was the secretary At this point you could hear people hoping she would call there name but I was the opposite. No school? No homework and maths! That was a nightmare I didn’t want to come true. ‘Alice, please could I have a word?’ The secretary said in a quiet voice. What’s going on I thought has something bad happened? Has my aunty died! She was ill after all. Bad thoughts rushed to my head as I shakily walked through the hall. ‘Now…’ she began ‘Your parents are waiting for you at home and have pre- paid a taxi for you as they could not come here….’ She paused. I looked around the parking lot and there in front was an old rusty taxi beeping at us. ‘Hurry along!’ She said. ‘What’s going on, why can’t I stay at school?’ No answer was told. I slowly stepped outside into the pouring rain making sure I didn’t slip down the stairs. I looked back when I was at the bottom of the stairs but the secretary had already gone. The Taxi Door opened as I stepped inside; unaware of what was going on. I sat quietly in the back of the car. Fear hit me as the taxi began to roar its old dented engine before I could shut the door. It was very uncomfortable, the seat had been torn and the door had a massive dent in it like it had been in a horrific accident. But the taxi driver didn’t seem to care. ‘Where are you taking me?’ I said There was no reply. I sat back in my seat and watched the world go past me through the window as I gently dosed off to sleep. I was dreaming slowly one at a time of all the great things that had happened to me. The shock in my dream felt so real. * * * * * * * While dreaming, I felt something push me, very hard. Someone waking me up, whispering in my ear. I suddenly woke up and realised I was home. The taxi driver gave me a weird look , I looked at him it must have been for only 5 seconds at least but every second I looked at him his eyes seemed to get darker, more angry. I looked away and quickly escaped the taxi. I was still raining so I tried to run to my house but that was no use as I was already soaking. I looked at my house but something didn’t seem right the grass was brown and the flowers drooped to the floor. I knew my mum was here no because the small blue mini that was there this morning was perched in the drive. I turned the door but it wouldn’t budge so I got out my keys and turned the door slowly and carefully, it was silent when I got in. I usually get a warm welcome from my family but not today instead. A cold shiver went down my spine as I closed the door. ‘Hello, anybody here?’ I called Silence….. I dumped my bags in the corridor and went into the kitchen. I could hear shuffling so someone had to be here. I looked around for food ad could see a dark figure in front of me. ‘Who is it?’ I said The figure didn’t reply but instead walked closer and closer. ‘GO AWAY!’ I scream He was coming closer; my heart was racing as I slowly tried to back away. But then I could fell his breath against me, next to me. His arm raised, something was glistening in his hand. Before I could Evan imagine what it was an incredible pain crushed my throat as if someone was pushing me to ground. I was like a voo doo doll being stabbed with a needle 60 times. I held my throat grasping it to stop the pain. ‘Help’ I cried ‘Anyo I couldn’t speak I was slowly going into a dream of my own .Slightly closing my eyes as I fell to the ground. Then Black………. I gasped as I woke up from what I thought was a dream. I got up, agony in my throat as I stood up in front of the mirror. A scar slashed my throat I slowly traced it with my finger examining every detail on it. I turned around and realised it was time for school. I ignored the scar and ran to school. The bell rang as I entered the room and I ran to my friend. ‘Hiyaa!!! You never guess what happened to me yesterday.’ I said They ignored me and carried on talking as If I wasn’t there. I said hello again, but still nothing. Maybe there annoyed I missed school? I sat down ready for class and the teacher began ranting about how noisy we are as usual. ‘Not again!’ I said to jack next to me. But he ignored me too. He Evan looked straight past me like he could see through me, as if I wasn’t Evan there. ‘Well this is going to be a rubbish day’ I mumbled to myself. I nearly dazed off but was woken by the clanginYes im sorry it stopped because it was so long but if you want to read the rest just say. more

Resolved Question: Conditional green card & divorce?

My husband I got married and a year later he got a conditional green card that expires in April 2010. (2 year conditional card). He started acting really cruel to me as soon as he got the green card, last year and he told me to leave him so many times, that he'd divorce me, was an emotional/mental abuser who would not speak to me for weeks sometimes/a month. I finally left because I couldn't live like that anymore. He even had a sex profile ad on a dating website specifically searching for women to have sex with and told me it was a "joke!" He even said he'd put me in the emergency room. I honestly feel he only married me for a green card as he never ever wanted to even open up a bank account with me. (Though we did purchase a home together). I left 2 weeks ago & was mailed property settlement papers from his attorney 3 days ago, saying he wants to keep the house. What do I do? I told him we should sell the house and he's adamant about keeping it. I feel like such a sucker. I am not sure he ever loved me. It's crazy. Is there any way to report this to USCIS? He's very sneaky and I'm sure will have already applied or will be applying for 'conditions to remove his green card' as he made a statement to be saying that he will not lose his green card, out of nowhere. He also took my engagement ring & hid it from me, saying I could not keep it! So to sum up, after treating me like dirt, he wants to keep my ring (that he gave me as a gift), the house, his car & said I can keep my car, some furniture and be responsible for paying my own debts eventhough he's the one who always paid our mortgage. Advice, please? I feel like I will never trust anyone again. I wasn't able to get all of my things when I left our home and he called me to come by later to "pick up some of your stuff" and I went back and he threw ALL of my belongings in the front lawn like I'm a dog. :( more

Resolved Question: what do you think of these,too old or not?

a couple were asleep in bed when they were both woken up by their neighbours dog barking,after 20 minutes the man said to his wife that he'd had enough and was going downstairs to sort it out,5 minutes later he came back upstairs and said to his wife " i've tied their dog up in our garden,let's see how they like it" bloke went in a sweet shop and asked for a packet of helicopter crisps,the shopkeeper told him that they didn't sell them so the bloke said "ok,i'll have a packet of plain" smiths the pie makers managed to only make 1 apple tart last month,a disappointed spokesman said " it was a really small turnover" a man went to the doctors and said he thought he was a dog,the doctor asked him to lay on the couch and the man replied "i'm not allowed on the furniture" a rich couple decide to advertise in their local paper for a handyman to do some jobs around the house,a man knocks on the door and tells the owner that he's come about the ad in the paper,the owner asks him if he can do some plumbing to which the man says no,the owner then asks him if he can do some electrical jobs,again the answer is no,the owner then asks him if he can do some decorating jobs,yet again the answer is no,the owner has had enough and asks the man " for fcuk sake,what's handy about you" to which the man replies "i only live around the corner" a married woman thinks to give her husband a sexy surprise for when he gets home from work so decides to just wear her crotchless panties and nothing else,when he gets home she's positioned herself on the settee with her legs spread open and says " hello big boy,how would you like to lick this", the husband looks at her and says " no way,look what it done to the crutch of your knickers" an eskimo is having trouble with his car so takes it to the garage,while he's waiting for it to be looked at he decides to get some refreshment and orders a 99,which he manages to get all over his moustache,he then goes back and the mechanic says " you've blown a seal" to which the eskimo replies "no,it's ice cream" the owner of a very small company has to lay off one of his 2 workers but can't decide which one,he has the idea of monitoring their working habits before he makes a decision,he notices that jack arrives 20 minutes early for work,has no tea breaks and works later than he should,the next day he monitors jill,she arrives late for work,jill has got a bad headache so keeps going out for painkillers and she leaves early,he gets jill in the office the next day and says " i've got to lay you or jack off" to which she replies"you'll have to jack off,i've still got a headache" last christmas eve i was in bed trying to get to sleep when i could hear music coming from downstairs in the front room, i went down to investigate but it was only my wrapping paper more

Resolved Question: what about these old favourite jokes?

a couple were asleep in bed when they were both woken up by their neighbours dog barking,after 20 minutes the man said to his wife that he'd had enough and was going downstairs to sort it out,5 minutes later he came back upstairs and said to his wife " i've tied their dog up in our garden,let's see how they like it" bloke went in a sweet shop and asked for a packet of helicopter crisps,the shopkeeper told him that they didn't sell them so the bloke said "ok,i'll have a packet of plain" smiths the pie makers managed to only make 1 apple tart last month,a disappointed spokesman said " it was a really small turnover" a man went to the doctors and said he thought he was a dog,the doctor asked him to lay on the couch and the man replied "i'm not allowed on the furniture" a rich couple decide to advertise in their local paper for a handyman to do some jobs around the house,a man knocks on the door and tells the owner that he's come about the ad in the paper,the owner asks him if he can do some plumbing to which the man says no,the owner then asks him if he can do some electrical jobs,again the answer is no,the owner then asks him if he can do some decorating jobs,yet again the answer is no,the owner has had enough and asks the man " for fcuk sake,what's handy about you" to which the man replies "i only live around the corner" a married woman thinks to give her husband a sexy surprise for when he gets home from work so decides to just wear her crotchless panties and nothing else,when he gets home she's positioned herself on the settee with her legs spread open and says " hello big boy,how would you like to lick this", the husband looks at her and says " no way,look what it done to the crutch of your knickers" an eskimo is having trouble with his car so takes it to the garage,while he's waiting for it to be looked at he decides to get some refreshment and orders a 99,which he manages to get all over his moustache,he then goes back and the mechanic says " you've blown a seal" to which the eskimo replies "no,it's ice cream" the owner of a very small company has to lay off one of his 2 workers but can't decide which one,he has the idea of monitoring their working habits before he makes a decision,he notices that jack arrives 20 minutes early for work,has no tea breaks and works later than he should,the next day he monitors jill,she arrives late for work,jill has got a bad headache so keeps going out for painkillers and she leaves early,he gets jill in the office the next day and says " i've got to lay you or jack off" to which she replies"you'll have to jack off,i've still got a headache" last christmas eve i was in bed trying to get to sleep when i could hear music coming from downstairs in the front room, i went down to investigate but it was only my wrapping paper more

Resolved Question: Job with a company that sale and service kirby machines (uk)?

I know in the old days , you would get a knock on the door from a kirby salesman trying to force his way into your home with his pitch..But just got a job with a company who arent kirby but service kirby vacums. I went fro interview and had more of a chat than an interview, and filled out a form, about hours etc... i wasnt asked for national insurance ,driving license , proof to work etc.. the lady said she would call me tomorrow night to let me know if i got the job or not. i got the call and start trianing monday... The job is under a service upgrade engineer, (not salesman) Has anyone applied for this job before, worked for them, are they ''engineers'' just salesmen and women? Job ad... trainne engineer required, smart dress, car essential, keen to learn, and career minded o.t.e (on target earnings) £400 p.w Like to hear from anyone who has worked for or applied and got the job i applied for more

Resolved Question: Is this email a scam?

I posted an ad on gumtree looking for a job and got this email read from the bottom GET BACK TO ME‏ From: Engr Paul Lawson (engrpaullaw@yahoo.com) Sent: 20 August 2009 12:58:08 To: I should provided that there is a post office in the area. In addition to that, I don't mind you doing all of the tasks during your spare time outside of work or school.. I wish I could meet up with you to talk about this job in person but i am currently away on for a Orphanages pedestrian construction. I am in Africa so there will be no interview.I am senior civil engr I will prepay you in advance to do my shopping and have my mails/packages forwarded to your address.If you will be unable to stay at home to get the mails, I can have them shipped to a post office near you and then you can pick them up at your convenience. All errands will be in your city/town so It is not a must that you have a car for the job, you can go places by bus or taxi. When you get my mails/packages; you are required to mail them to where I want them mailed to. You won't have to put money out of your pocket, all you have to do is have packages shipped to your house and do my shopping. You are allowed to open the packages to reveal the content. The content of the packages will be business and personal mails. All expenses and taxes will be covered by me.... You will work between 15 and 20hrs a month. How much will you charge per month? I will pay 500GBP per month. That is not a bad offer is it? I need your service because I am constantly out of town... I am senior civil engr. I will return to UK in September so this process will be on going till then... If you don't mind, I will meet up with you when I return and then we can talk about the possibility of making this long term. Well, I will have the mails sent to the post office however, the money to do my errands must be mailed directly to you. I will email you the list and pictures of what to shop for when I am ready. No heavy packages is involved! You can do the shopping at stores. You will be shopping for household items, Electronics and clothings. I will provide you my UPS account number for Shipping. All you have to do is provide my account number to UPS and shipping charges will be applied into the account. I will provide clear set of instructions for each task I need done as well the funds to cover them. If I were to mail you money to do my errands plus upfront payment for your service, how should your name appear on the money? Where should I mail it to?Your phone number. I need your contact address for the cheque to be mail to you. get back to me with the details below, FULL NAME : THAT WILL APPEAR ON THE CHEQUE . FULL ADDRESS CITY STATE POSTAL CODE . MOBILE NUMBER AND LAND LINE .. AGE NATIONALITY Email me your details if you are able to handle the position.. Thanks for your time and accepting my offer. --- On Thu, 8/20/09, wrote: From: Subject: RE: To: engrpaullaw@yahoo.com Date: Thursday, August 20, 2009, 9:45 AM Hi what is the job? > Date: Thu, 20 Aug 2009 02:51:46 +0100 > From: engrpaullaw@yahoo.com > To: > Subject: > > Contact: engrpaullaw@yahoo.com > > ______________________________________________________________________ > > Hi, I saw your placement advert on gumtree,That you are seeking for job,Are you interested apart from job you are seeking for??? Contact for more details if you are interested. > I think it is but im confused, why would people pay to do shopping? also shall I just reply with my address, or a fake address he already knows my email and first and last name what shall i do? more

Resolved Question: HELP to find a Gold Rover 75 with damage to drivers side involved in a hit and run?

Hi I was riding as I have for 27yrs to a bike rally with my hubby on my motorbike and sidecar ,we was on the M25 at Watford going north when as a witness stated a Gold Rover 75 came out of the middle lane without looking and hit my bike I flew off onto the central reservation hit all my right side flew back into the fast lane very hard a van only just missed me ,does your neighbour have this car with damage phone watford police as I was left for dead my injuries are internal bleeding from 6 broken ribs peirced lung damaged leg broken collarbone I was on life support for 6 days my family expecting me to die my disabled son scared he was going to lose his mum also 2 daughters 6 grandkids ad my lovely hubby who blames himself as we had decided to stop for a while but he changed his mind and rode on ,please if you know anything please help ,thank youmy hubby was riding his own solo in front not as it looks in my write up x more

Voting Question: I think my crush thinks i had lots of boys after me and its puttin him off how can i let him know i dont?

so i like this boy who is shy and has never had a GF b4 hes hard to get him to speak 2 me or even tell me how he feels but i think he likes me... i think he thinks ive had lots of BF's and lots of experience with boys but i havent! im 17 ad only been out with 2 boys 1 for 5 days and the other on and off for about 1yr but nuthing happened and i hardly saw him! ive never even kissed a boy... i talk to his dad alot an one of the 1st things he sed 2 me when i asked him somthin about cars as they work in a garage (this was b4 he knew i liked his son) was y dont you ask your BF which i replyed i dont have one... Everybody seens really suprised when i say i dnt have a BF or never had Sex (not many people know ive never kissed a boy) I dnt think im pretty or anythin and im size 14 so quite chubby/fat How can i let him know tha im in the same boat as him relationship wise im jus not as shy lol please help more

Resolved Question: does this job offer sound real to you?

i am part of an online job advertising website, where you post if you want a job or other people post if they have a job going i posted an ad recently, & recieved this email; Hi,Are you looking for a part time Job? Can you do something apart from Nanny/babysitting? Are you available to run errands? I am looking for someone who can handle my personal and business errands at his/her spare time. Someone who can offer me these services: Mail services: Receive my mails and drop them off at UPS (nothing illegal). Shop for Gifts Sit for delivery( at your home) or pick items up at nearby post office at your convenience. Let me know if you will be able to offer me any of these services. I should probably tell you more about the job...... This job is flexible so you can do it wherever you are provided that there is a post office in the area. In addition to that, I don't mind you doing all of the tasks during your spare time outside of work or school.. I wish I could meet up with you to talk about this job in person but I am currently away on business. I am in Bahrain so there will be no interview. I will prepay you in advance to do my shopping and have my mails/packages forwarded to your address.If you will be unable to stay at home to get the mails, I can have them shipped to a post office near you and then you can pick them up at your convenience.All errands will be in your city/town so It is not a must that you have a car for the job, you can go places by bus or taxi. When you get my mails/packages; you are required to mail them to where I want them mailed to. You won't have to put money out of your pocket, all you have to do is have packages shipped to your house and do my shopping. You are allowed to open the packages to reveal the content. The content of the packages will be business and personal mails. All expenses and taxes will be covered by me. You will work between 15 and 20hrs a month. How much will you charge per month? I will pay 600GBP per month. That is not a bad offer is it? I need your service because I am constantly out of town... I am an Architect. I will return to UK in July so this process will be on going till then.. If you don't mind, I will meet up with you when I return and then we can talk about the possibility of making this long term. Well, let me know if you are able to handle the position. Thanks for your time.. I dont know whether to take this email seriously or not, it sounds too good to be true, and quite dodgy :S Anyone had an offer like this before? Sorry for the essay aha more

Voting Question: stress at work and signed off, what do i do? where do i stand?

I work in car sales and thought I had found my dream job untill last wednesday my hours are mostly 8.30-6/7pm mon-fri sat 8.30-5 and every 2nd sunday 11-5pm. well last wednesday i had to stay at work until 9.15pm!!! i got back home at 10pm as i live a little distance from work. I had to stay there for the keys and my colleague was with a customer so had to wait, when i asked the boss the next day to leave a couple of hours early to make up for that he said no i kept asking untill he got that angry that he said if you want a 9-5pm job the go n work at sainsbury's stacking shelves!! then on the saturday I was threatened by a colleague of mine who is also my ex-boyfriend, verbally and with the threat of i know where you live! i made my boss aware of this and have since found out that another colleague had already mentioned to my boss he was concerned of my ex's behaviour to me! then i found out that basically another one of my colleagues had sold a car to one of my customers when i had been ill in may!!! which in the unwritten rules is my money and deal! but after trying to get my boss to resolve this no luck! then on thursday just that same guy who sold a car to one of my customers was insulting me on a personal level infront of the BM,(my boss was off) so it ended up with me n this guy swearing full blown at each other and me walking off. when this happened every other issue that had seemed to come toppling down on me and i burst into tears which is very unlike me and out of character. My BM approached me and we went somewhere quiet to chat for like half an hour! i told him i wasnt happy there anymore and that all my issues and problems arent getting resolved. he mentioned things like your one of the best sales people we have had and told me to get myself together to go back to work. to which i replyed i didnt want to go back in! he said i wouldnt be going home. crying my eyes out he drove us back to work and i said i would wait in the car before i went back in! in which time the ex opened the car door and for 4 minutes was asking me what was up! i completely ignored him and felt scared and nervous! then i walked back into work and locked myself in the loo's for 15 mins. eventually i got sent home by the site manager and yesterday i got signed off by the doctor - reason stress at work! had to take my car back to work today to switch into another one as mine had been sold and dropped off my sick note. i havent stopped crying since thursday, i havent eaten at all today which is extremly out of character and i feel so down ad everything i think of doing like eating for example i see as pointless so why bother! my doc asked me to go bak fri and will assess whether i will be signed off for another week! i just feel like i have lost everything, this job means the world, copmpany car and everything but im scared i dont know what will happen? where do i stand? should i be speaking to HR? more

Voting Question: Stress at work, and signed off where do I stand?

I work in car sales and thought I had found my dream job untill last wednesday my hours are mostly 8.30-6/7pm mon-fri sat 8.30-5 and every 2nd sunday 11-5pm. well last wednesday i had to stay at work until 9.15pm!!! i got back home at 10pm as i live a little distance from work. I had to stay there for the keys and my colleague was with a customer so had to wait, when i asked the boss the next day to leave a couple of hours early to make up for that he said no i kept asking untill he got that angry that he said if you want a 9-5pm job the go n work at sainsbury's stacking shelves!! then on the saturday I was threatened by a colleague of mine who is also my ex-boyfriend, verbally and with the threat of i know where you live! i made my boss aware of this and have since found out that another colleague had already mentioned to my boss he was concerned of my ex's behaviour to me! then i found out that basically another one of my colleagues had sold a car to one of my customers when i had been ill in may!!! which in the unwritten rules is my money and deal! but after trying to get my boss to resolve this no luck! then on thursday just that same guy who sold a car to one of my customers was insulting me on a personal level infront of the BM,(my boss was off) so it ended up with me n this guy swearing full blown at each other and me walking off. when this happened every other issue that had seemed to come toppling down on me and i burst into tears which is very unlike me and out of character. My BM approached me and we went somewhere quiet to chat for like half an hour! i told him i wasnt happy there anymore and that all my issues and problems arent getting resolved. he mentioned things like your one of the best sales people we have had and told me to get myself together to go back to work. to which i replyed i didnt want to go back in! he said i wouldnt be going home. crying my eyes out he drove us back to work and i said i would wait in the car before i went back in! in which time the ex opened the car door and for 4 minutes was asking me what was up! i completely ignored him and felt scared and nervous! then i walked back into work and locked myself in the loo's for 15 mins. eventually i got sent home by the site manager and yesterday i got signed off by the doctor - reason stress at work! had to take my car back to work today to switch into another one as mine had been sold and dropped off my sick note. i havent stopped crying since thursday, i havent eaten at all today which is extremly out of character and i feel so down ad everything i think of doing like eating for example i see as pointless so why bother! my doc asked me to go bak fri and will assess whether i will be signed off for another week! i just feel like i have lost everything, this job means the world, copmpany car and everything but im scared i dont know what will happen? where do i stand? should i be speaking to HR? more

Resolved Question: blody adverts,adverts,adverts?

do you feel that british tv is getting like american tv,loads and loads ad break but which ones do hate the most and which do like the most i hate 1.activia for that bloated feeling 2.NHS stop smoking ad(non of thier damn business) 3.Safe style windows.you buy one and get free,i say you buy one get one free. 4 the pooh adverts where they go on about the runs# 5.the pooh advert vwhere its all hard makes me want to vomit my favourites are# 1.All the flake adverts 2.the cadbury gorilla 3.the old bisto 4,hovis(old ones) 5 the audi and ford ones where all the bits of car are set in motion the domino effect 6.and the finger of fudge great tune. what are your worst and best more

Resolved Question: Finance Agreement buy out?

Hi, i currently 1 year 4 months into a 4 year deal with Ford on an 04 Fiesta Silver 1.4 - Starting to think ive made the wrong choice and looking for a new car. Ive looked into a Honda Civic Type-r for around £3500-£5000. My friend told me that a dealer can buyout your part of the car to have ownership? The current settlement figure is about £3900 and P/x price is around £3750. Ive seen many ads on ebay/auto trader selling the car for over £4999 wit 60Miles. Am i able to agree with the type r dealer to settle with ford to own my car and just pay the extra say £800 for type-r or is it a complicated matter? any help will be brill, really stuck here.. Rob. more

Resolved Question: Classic FM's orders for you to hide under your bed; what do you think of their 'terrorism' ads?

Was listening to it early in the morning (first time for months)...they still play their 'classical-lite' bites - obviously the usual list they never seem to divert from (bundles of easy-to-hear Bach, & Beethoven, tons of Tchaikovsky and as much film scores as you can take). But what's this; every time the ads came on, people are being warned about dodgy bags and cases in public places - and if somebody sees one, call the police NOW!! The reason why I write this question is that I've not heard it elsewhere on commercial radio, either in London or elsewhere. Classical FM...will calm you down with popular tunes - but don't listen to some of the ads, obviously composed by a Mail reader in Amersham! Right...off to work - and will not forget to look under my car. Take care of yourselves...and each other (ahem!). more

Resolved Question: Would you sell your partner?

A British man fed up with his wife's complaints advertised her for sale -- and got a number of offers. "Nagging Wife. No Tax, No MOT. Very high maintenance -- some rust," wrote Gary Bates, 38, in a small ad in Trade-It, more usually used to buy and sell cars or household goods. Bates, a self-employed builder from Gloucestershire, southwest England, snapped after his wife Donna on got on his nerves while she was watching television and decided to place the ad as a joke. "She was nagging me for doing something small, while she was watching some rubbish on TV. So I just thought I'd put an ad in to get rid of her. "I didn't think anyone would ring up but I've had at least nine or 10 people calling about her. It's gone mad. There was no one I knew -- just people asking, 'Is she still available?'" The couple only married last year, and Bates said his 40-year-old wife -- whom he advertised in the magazine's Free to Collect section, along with some of his fishing tackle -- initially gave him "a bit of an ear-bashing." But he said: "She's seen the funny side of it now though!" What a cheek lol, would serve him dog food stew!! http://uk.news.yahoo.com/18/20090312/tod-for-sale-nagging-wife-very-high-main-6058bda.htmlDamn goog idea F.....lol bargin basement!! more

Resolved Question: most annoying advert ever, this is driving me so mad i am thinking of cutting sky, whats your worst advert?

this advert is on sky almost every 10 seconds, or so it seems, its an advert for car insurance, clues! " time is money" selling time, get a life, what is all this rubbish about, it's the most irritating advert ever, a 60 something rock star running around a studio trying to look as if he has had his life changed by this insurance company, yeah right! may have lined his pocket, the quicker they get this advert off the tv the better, i would not buy insurance from this company if it was the last one on earth, rather use esure, now that's another very bad advert for insurance, but the one for "SWIFT COVER.COM" is just cr*p, some real entertainers are out their, the new t-mobile ones at Liverpool st station are good fun and one from the past, Budweiser ads were good, are any others out their that i should turn off if they appear or some that i should look out for, help me stay sane!!!!!!! more

Resolved Question: Autotrader - odd email from an enquirer about my car - not sure if it is a scam?

Ok, I received this first email a couple of days ago: """Good Morning, I am really interested in your Vehicle listed for sale on auto trader website. I will like to know if you still have it for sale. Are you the first owner? Did you have all the paper work and the receipt of purchase for documentation? What is your last asking and the present condition? The area for the pick up and lastly the reason for offering it for sale. Thanks and i look forward to hear from you today ASAP Cheers Mrs Brown""" I replied, and get this email from them the next day, and just so you know, I never mentioned about spending any money on maintenance on the car, in email or on the ad - and the car I'm selling is a 1973 Mercedes SL, not something I think would be suitable for a family with a baby as a second car... And why do they make a point of saying ""I did NOT request for your bank details."" ??!! Finally, the words and sentencing just doesn't sound like a Mrs Brown to me... AND... the car is on sale for £4200 - - but this Mrs Brown is offering me £4400 !!! Here's the email: """Thanks for your quick response and am also excited to hear from you that the vehicle is still available for sale and thanks for the information you just gave about the vehicle and am quite delighted to hear from you that the vehicle is still in great conditions. The reason why am purchasing this vehicle is because our family are expanding,cos we are expecting our first child. I want you to send me your wishes in advance before the imminent arrival of the baby. My self and my husband just need one additional vehicle. Please i want you to email me more pictures if is still available both the exterior and interior. Due to my condition i will not be able to view the vehicle at present because i'm heavily pregnant,and the distance as well. My personal circumstances do not allow me to travel,like wise my husband is away on a business trip to South Dakota in United State of America According to the Features of the vehicle and the Full Description of the vehicle i saw on the advert page i'm fully satisfied. I will make an offer of £4,400 inclusive the advert fees just because i know the worth of the vehicle and more so what you' ve stated about the vehicle details in the advert page and the maintenance of the vehicle you've spent so far since you bought the vehicle. Presently we are located at Belfast. I will take good care of the shippment I had already consult a private shipping company who are going to handle it professionally, both the shipping cost and other necessary activities concerning the shippment of the vehicle. Although the shipping company still have some furniture to ship for me in Ulster i have made it clear to them that your location will be their first arrival before moving down to any other destination. Cleared funds would have to be obtained prior to the sale. The money would CLEAR into your bank account before any transaction could take place. My preffered method of payment is by bankers draft or Cheque in a (GBP) that's the only option and safest way for me to transfer CASH which am going to instruct my business associate to post you a bankers draft via post office. The bankers draft is going to clear in your bank within 3 to 5 working days before i shall take the possession of the vehicle . I hope to hear from you today in order to proceed further with the payment and shipping arrangements as soon as possible. Bankers draft only required your FULL NAME and your POSTAL ADDRESS. I did NOT request for your bank details. In my next email i shall let you know the details that is required from you to enable the bankers draft gets to you by post office. I look forward to hear back from you today. Cheers Mrs Brown""" more

Resolved Question: How easy was it for you to become a vegetarian?

I'm in an all veggie mood now and I want to hear some good positive stories about how and why you went vegetarian. [For all you lovely meat eaters who for some reason are on this topic, if you don't have anything nice to say don't say nuthin'. You're not really going to make a valid point when we're all biased. thanks!] For me, I was 12, reading a magazine, saw Simple Plans anti-fur ad, with peta.com on the bottom. Browsed that website for days. And that was it. Although my entire family eat meat and laughed and took the piss constantly, I don't recall there being any real struggle. At 12 years old though, you visit McDonald's with your friends, start choosing what you eat, start cooking for yourself. So as I was veggie from an early age, I've never cooked meat myself. Which made it easier, I imagine. I became one of those in your face have a leaflet you disgust me cause you eat meat annoying little activist. I sat outside KFC proesting by myself and putting leaflets on many many cars. I still occasionally leave the odd flyer on a bus or something, but now I'm like whatever. My choice not to eat meat, your choice to. Simple. (though I think everyone should be informed but we can't have everything) It just annoys me when people ASK why I'm a vegetarian, then say "but you shouldn't push that on other people" because they feel guilty. Wtf, don't ask me in the first place. And one last pet peeve, "Oh I love animals!" as they're tucking into a big mac. ew. The last meat I ever ate was a steak, haha. What was the last meat you ever ate? more

Resolved Question: how about these yes some more from the archives but still funny ?

A man says to his wife, "I fancy kinky s*x, how about I blow my l*ad in your ear?" The wife hastily replies, "No, I might go deaf!" To which the man replies, "I've been shooting my love wads in your mouth for the last 20 years and you're still f**king talking aren't you?" A guy's talking to a girl in a bar. He says, "What's your name?" She says, "Carmen." He says, "That's a nice name. Who named you, your mother?" She says, "No, I named myself." He says, "Why Carmen?" She says, "Because I like cars and I like men. What's your name?" He says, "Beerfcuk." Two guys were discussing popular family trends on s*x, marriage, and values. Stuart said, "I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?" Leroy replied, "I'm not sure, what was her maiden name? A little boy went up to his father and asked: "Dad, where did all of my intelligence come from?" The father replied. "Well son, you must have got it from your mother, cause I still have mine" An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years. The Wizard says, "Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you. The old man says without hesitation, "I now pronounce you man and wife."  more

Resolved Question: What do yuo propose me to do when I feel bored?

Act like a spy / secret agent for the day Act like you just met your friend for the first time Act profound Ad lib Add some strawberries to your ice cream Adopt strange mannerisms Alphabetize the food in your fridge Announce your candidacy for President. Annoy total strangers Apply for a unicorn hunting license Appreciate everything Archive the Internet to 3.5" floppy disks (low density of course) Arrest yourself Ask a question nobody can answer Ask embarrassing questions Ask for seconds Ask people how to pronounce their name Ask people if they want to see your “belly button treasure” Ask people if they’ve seen your head Ask stupid questions. Ask the person in front of you to marry you. Ask why At the bottom of escalators yell “MY SHOELACE!” Attract lightning Award yourself a Nobel Peace Prize Baby oil the floor Backstroke your way to class Bake the world’s biggest doughnut hole Balance a pencil on your nose Balance a pillow on your head Balance your checkbook Bark at people in the grocery store Bark at your dog Bark at your parents Be a leaf and leave Be a loan shark Be a lone shark Be a monk...for a day Be a no-name Be a non-being Be a REALLY cautious driver Be a side affect. Be a smart blonde Be a spy Be a square root. Be a superstar Be amazing Be blue Be blunt Be Buddha Be cherubic. Be cold Be cute Be envious Be halfway Be hot Be immobile Be in the wrong place at the right time. Be jealous Be lazy Be legendary Be lord of the flies Be negative Be nervous Be neutral Be one of those people that yell “SHH!” (Even though they ADD to the noise) Be positive Be really annoying to everybody Be sharp Be smart Be somebody else Be someone special Be stupid for a day Be thankful for clocks Be unique, just like everyone else Beam yourself up Become a band nerd Become a go-to kinda man Become a hermit on your front lawn (works best if you live on a main road!) Become a paparazzi for your friends, follow them around with a camera Become a party animal Become a tic-tac addict Become an expert on something nobody cares about Befriend flies Behold the truth Bite every other nail Bite your pinkie Blast hip-hop music through town Blink a lot Blow bubbles Blow bubbles with bubble gum Blow on a beer bottle Blow on a blade of grass Blow spit bubbles Blow up a balloon until it pops Boil ice cream Boldly go where no man has gone before Bother a sibling, profusely Bounce a potato Braid your dog's hair Break into a friend's house and clean it Break some rules Bring a Furby to school Bring dog treats to the park and meet 25 new dogs Bronze your sister Brush your teeth Buff your cat Build a house out of toothpicks Build a house with ice cubes Build a model of the Eiffel Tower out of Belgian waffles Build a pyramid Build a tree house in the middle of a field Burp the Happy Birthday song Bury your father’s car Buy something from an infomercial Call a wrong number and talk to whoever answers. Call an insurance company and try to insure your stuffed animal. Call toll free numbers and make friends with the operators Call yourself an Indian giver Calmly have a nervous breakdown Can you out-shame these people? Carpet your ceiling Carry a briefcase with you and offer people phony legal advice Carry a tune...drop it, see if it breaks Carve your boyfriend\girlfriend\crushes’ initials in a marshmallow Catch a cold Catch a falling star Challenge the neighbor kid to duel Change your hand writing style Change your mind Change your name...daily Chase your friend or family member around the sofa Check out the weather forecast for other parts of the world. Check under chairs for chewing gum Check your email from a DOS command prompt Chew ice Chew on a lollipop stick Chew on pen caps Chew on your arm until someone notices. Chew your lip Churn some butter. Claim you are late for a date with the white rabbit Clean and polish your belly button Clean your room (*gasp*) Climb the walls Clone yourself Collect hotel keys Complain about your nose hurting Conceive a brand new language. Confess to a crime that you didn't commit. Confess to a crime...that didn't happen Construct a shrine for the queen of the spud peoples Construct tiny makeshift parachutes for hamsters Convert various currencies to other various currencies here Count all the stars in the sky Count to a 100,000 Count your teeth with your tongue Crack your knuckles Crank up some music Crawl around the room humming the music from Mission Impossible. Create random equations Cross your toes Crumble Crumple Crush pop cans with croquet mallets Cut out photos and paste them on Popsicle sticks and have a puppet show Cut your fingernails/toenails Dance around your living room naked Dance 'til you drop Dare to be stupid Day dream Debate politics with a pet Declare April 6th “slap butt day” at your school and actively celebrate it Declare war Defend your neighborhood from flesh eating robots Defy gravity Develop a complex Develop a tick Dial-a-prayer and argue Discover some cool uses for crates Discover the answer to the ultimate question....then the question itself.... Do a cartwheel Do a good job Do aerobics...in your head Do crossword puzzles Do everything with your other hand today Do some paperwork Do the hokey-pokey at 3 am Do the magician “saw a box trick” with your sister/brother Donate your brother’s/sister's body to science Dont ever use punctuation its rather annoying isnt it Doodle or cartoon Dot people’s i’s for them Draw Venn diagrams...screw them up Dress in something silly and laugh at yourself Dress like a pirate Dress like your favorite Heavy Metal group...surprise your grandmother. Dress up in a cow suit… go to the supermarket Drink as much prune juice as you can Drink soda till you get wired Drink straight shots...of water Drop pebbles down the chimney Drop something to see if it breaks. Duct tape a spoon to the wall and wait for it to fall Eat broccoli and pretend to be a dinosaur eating trees Embarrass yourself Even the score Every time you say the word definitely, spell it out Every time you write something today, use roman numerals for the numbers. Exist...existentially of course. Exorcise a ghost Experiment with makeup Eye witness stuff Factor your social security number Faint Fake an accent Fall asleep Fidget Figure out how to get yourself on TV Find a bug and chase it Find an address to your favorite famous person and write them a letter. See if they write you back. Find other people who have your name Find out your future with a Ouija board Find pepper and dust and break the world record of sneezes Find some crutches and pretend to have a broken leg Find the heat capacity of your science professor Find the longest URL you possibly can Find the meaning of life Find the nearest nowhere and go there Find typos on websites and email the webmasters to let them know. Find your half-life Flash your mailman Flip upside-down and check out the Anti-Gravity Room Flirt with people Fluff your pillows Fold everything you can Follow random people Forget to groom Form a political party Form a union Format all those AOL disks you got in the mail... Gargle Gesture Get a song stuck in your head Get angry with yourself Get bubblegum stuck in your hair and try to get it out Get caught red-handed Get on the radio Get run over by a train of thought Get your dog braces Get yourself as nauseated as possible, like by spinning around and looking straight up. Give names to your body parts Give your cat a mohawk Give to charity Give yourself a new identity Glue pages of your roommates textbooks together. Go Amish Go back to square one Go dumpster diving Go dumpster diving and see what you can find Go for a bike ride Go for a run Go for a walk Go insane Go into a bar and ask for a Molotov Cocktail Go on random driver’s ed trips Go shop for a really good book Go skinny-dipping Go squirrel watching Go swimming Go through the dictionary looking up really long words like discombobulated. Go to a funeral and tell jokes Go to a Swing dance and do the hokey-pokey Go to McDonald's and pretend you can't speak English Go to your local museum, and try to get kicked out Goose people Grease every door hinge in the house, then yell at people for slamming doors Grind your teeth Groan, act confused when people ask if you are ok Hail a cab and walk Hang out in the bathroom wearing a suit and sell people things Have a burping contest Have a carpet picnic Have a staring contest with yourself in the mirror. Have a water drinking contest Have an egg toss Have people follow you with red carpet everywhere Help an old lady cross the street Hide Hire people to wait on you Hit some hay Hit the deck Hold amateur wrestling matches at your local gym Hold an ice cube as long as possible Hold your breath Hold your hand Hop on one foot all day Hop up and down Host your own radio show from your laundry room Hot wax the bottom of your brothers/sisters dress shoes Hug a stranger then apologize saying you thought they were your grandma. Hunt and peck when you type in public places Ignore anyone who talks to you Inflate a beachball and throw it around the room. Insist everyone calls you “Your highness” Interview a member of the opposite sex Invent something Join a fan club Join the debate team and agree with everyone Juggle everything you can find Jump up and down Just hop up Kidnap Cabbage Patch Kids Kidnap Cabbage Patch Kids Kidnap Cabbage Patch Kids. Kiss and make up with yourself Kiss more

Resolved Question: I always hear songs I love on adverts...........?

is there a website that tells you who the songs are by? also, while we are at it, what is your fav song from an ad? Mines The Sweet Vandals - Beautiful. Its from some sort of car ad.Robert Davis - I thought that tune was by Chicago!!! I have a copy somewher. pretty cool tune though/ more

Resolved Question: For all believers , what do you think of this?

1. There was a church that had problems with outsiders parking in its parking lots, so they put up a sign: CHURCH CAR PARK - FOR MEMBERS ONLY, TRESPASSERS WILL BE BAPTIZED! That took care of the problem! 2. "No God - No Peace? Know God - Know Peace." 3. "Free Trip to heaven. Details Inside!" 4. "Try our Sundays. They are better than Baskin-Robbins." 5. "Searching for a new look? Have your faith lifted here!" 6. An ad for one Church has a picture of two hands holding stone tablets on which the Ten Commandments are inscribed and a headline that reads: "For fast, fast, fast relief, take two tablets." 7. When the restaurant next to another Church put out a sign with big red letters that said, "Open Sundays," the church reciprocated with its own message: "We are open on Sundays, too." 8. "People are like tea bags - you have to put them in hot water before you know how strong they are." 9. "Fight truth decay - study the Bible daily." 10. "How will you spend eternity - Smoking or Non-smoking?" 11. "Dusty Bibles lead to Dirty Lives" 12. "Come work for the Lord. The work is hard, the hours are long and the pay is low. But the retirement benefits are out of this world." 13. "It is unlikely there'll be a reduction in the wages of sin." 14. "Do not wait for the hearse to take you to church." 15. "If you're headed in the wrong direction, God allows U-turns." 16. "If you don't like the way you were born, try being born again." 17. "Looking at the way some people live, they ought to obtain eternal fire insurance soon." 18. "This is a ch_ _ ch. What is missing?" ----- (U R) 19. "In the dark? Follow the Son." 20. "Running low on faith? Step in for a fill-up." 21. "If you can't sleep, don't count sheep. Talk to the Shepherd." more

Resolved Question: Do you drive a HONDA JAZZ? Want to drive the new one? Help needed for new honda ad!hondafilm2008@yahoo.co.uk?

Hello. I work for an ad agency in London, and we're putting together a short promo documentary for Honda, about the Jazz and its drivers, in preparation for the big forthcoming relaunch. We're looking for Jazz drivers to chat about their car, their passions and how their vehicle enhances their lives, and also to give the brand new Jazz a spin, if so desired. Whether you use the Jazz's spacious boot for your kid's buggy, your golf clubs, or your camping equipment, or if you just drive it when you take your grandkids to the park, then I'd love to hear from you - I can be contacted on hondafilm2008@yahoo.co.uk, or just reply to this message. Or alternatively, if you know of any other Jazz drivers who might be interested, if you could give them a shout on my behalf and give them my details, then that'd be superb. It'd be excellent to hear from you, more

Resolved Question: are these oneliners good or not?

Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that. At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" The other replied, "Yes I am, I married the wrong man." Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he's finished. Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his bachelor's degree and the woman gets her master's. A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" And the father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm still paying" Young Son: Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her? Dad: That happens in every country, son. Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; and then it was too late." Married life is frustrating. The first year of marriage, the man speaks And the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen. After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." The husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice." It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss. A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine." When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife is. A woman was telling her friend , "It is I who made my husband a millionaire." "And what was he before you married him." Asked the friend. The woman replied, " A billionaire". more

Resolved Question: what is your favourite advert?

My fave ad is for Mccain Chips - two girls on school bus asking each other 'daddy or chips'? My second fave is the on for Volkswagen. Guy pulls into German garage with annoying 'squeak'. Wife asleep in passenger seat. Engineer rocks car, listens for squeak, gets round to passenger side, rocks car again, and realises it is wifes dangly ear ring that is squeaking. Squirts oil from oil can on earing, rocks car again, squeak has gone. Engineer looks up and goes AAAAGH! more

Resolved Question: Sorry for this. My daughter is sitting in on Sat Nite for once and is wrecking my head with these questions?

What's the music from the latest Toyota Ad, where 4 guys are driving around Ireland in a car? Thank you for your patience. She's watching telly and wants to know the music to every Ad that comes on. Think I'll go to bed! more

Resolved Question: stupid taxes?

i think i have got very bitter as i have got older. I work somtimes 72 hours a week nights, i come home watch tv, then hear the bbc advert for paying your tv licence, then the car tax ad, then the no smoking ad then the water board ad ,then the british gas ad an on an on . so who are we actualy working for, is it for our goverment, so they can have enough money for holidays xmas and other essentual things, while us folk pull our guts out more

Resolved Question: Are you really as bothered about your "carbon footprint" as the government with its adverts wants to make you?

Ads telling you to keep your car tyres blown up for your "carbon footprint" sake. And to not leave your electrics on standby etc. Is it only Britain that is going crazy for this latest fad promoted by the government for increasing tax purposes (sound of Gordon rubbing hands)? more

Resolved Question: Free Car With Ad's?

Ive heard that you can get a free car or get paid to drive your own car with ad's on it from companies...is this true/ Has anyone done this before, how do you do it? is it a scam? Thanks more

Resolved Question: Do you think these 17 reasons are why a man wont commit ?

1/ Getting married is very much like going to a continental restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that. 2/ At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" The other replied, "Yes I am, I married the wrong man." 3/ Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is really finished. 4/ Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his bachelor's degree and the woman gets her master's. 5/ A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" And the father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm still paying for it." 6/ Young Son: Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her? Dad: That happens in most countries, son. 7/ Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; and then it was too late. 8/ When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a ten-year married man looks happy - we wonder why. 9/ Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen. 10/ After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." And the husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice it." 11/ A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine." 12/ When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife. 13/ How do most men define marriage? A very expensive way to get your laundry done free. 14/ The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once. 15/ When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. - Sacha Guitry 16/ Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe. - Jackie Mason 17/ Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience more

Resolved Question: A Cynical Male View Of Marriage long i know question is guys do you agree?

1. Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence. A LIFE sentence. 2. Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore marriage is an institution for the blind. 3. Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's Degree and the woman gets her masters. 4. Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring and suffering. 5. Married life is full of excitement and frustration: In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the NEIGHBOR listens. 6. Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, and when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that instead. 7. There was this man who muttered a few words in the church and found himself married. A year later he muttered something in his sleep and found himself divorced. 8. A happy marriage is a matter of giving and taking, the husband gives and the wife takes. 9. Son: How much does it cost to get married, Dad? Father: I don't know son, I'm still paying for it. 10. Son: Is it true Dad ? I heard that in ancient China, a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her. Father: That happens everywhere, son, EVERYWHERE! 11. Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock. 12. They say that when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is love; after marriage it is self-defense. 13. When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a 10-year married man looks happy, we wonder why. 14. When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing - either the car is new or the wife is. 15. Confucius says: man who sinks into woman's arm soon have arms in woman's sink. 16. When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. 17. Eighty percent of married man cheat in America, the rest cheat in Europe. 18. After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin. They just can't face each other, but still they stay together. 19. Marriage is when a man and a woman become one. The trouble starts when they try to decide which one. 20. Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After the marriage the "Y" becomes silent. 21. I married Miss right, I just didn't know her first name was Always. 22. It's not true that married men live longer than single men, it only seems longer. 23. Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was almost impossible. 24. A man was complaining to a friend: I had it all - money, a beautiful house, the love of a beautiful woman, then...POW! It was all gone. What happened, asked his friend. He says: My wife found out. 25. Wife: Let's go out and have some fun tonight. Husband: OK, but if you get home before I do, leave the hallway lights on. 26. At a cocktail party, one woman said to another: Aren't you wearing your ring on the wrong finger ? The other replied, Yes, I am. I married the wrong man. 27. Man is incomplete until he gets married, then he is finished. 28. It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss. 29. A man inserted an ad in the paper - WIFE WANTED. The next day he received a hundred letters and they all said the same thing - YOU CAN HAVE MINE. more

Resolved Question: A duet for Britney and adnan grebe .Sung to irreplaceable by beyonce waddya thiink?

ｏ　ｔｈｅ　ｌｅｆｔ　 and ｔｈｅ　ｒｉｇｈｔ　 All this stuff、 is all your shite To the back and the front Crikey , you are a messy c%#t I went and bought you a load o`nice clothes You used the sleeve shirts to wipe your nose Everything you own is all over the place Cant you clean up and get outta ma face A Yes ,yes you keep talking that way By the by Can I have some of yer pay You said that you `d support me Buy me cars and get my beer free Britney You keep on shagging me, you keep on shagging me can you only last a minute and its rather tiny innit ad-man You keep on nagging me you keep on nagging me I know I have put weighton To you, it seems I weigh a ton You must not know about beer You must not know about beer I `ll have another in a minute In fact Ill need another in a minute, beerby Ｏｆ　ｃｏｕｒｓｅ　Ｉ　ｋｎｏｗ　ａｂｏｕｔ　ｂｅｅｒ　 ｏｆ　ｃｏｕｒｓｅ　Ｉ　ｋｎｏｗ　ａｂｏｕｔ　ｂｅｅｒ Ｉ｀ll　ｈａｖｅ　another keg by tomorrow And If you ever get to thinking I`m an alkie smashyerfacein IwillTo the left to the left To the left to the left You know that two tank gas guzzling Jag which cost a lot less than your hermes bag I left it wrapped it around a lamppost Its not my fault, I was`nt too pissed You keep on nagging me you keep on nagging me Have you got some money for the cabbie Its my brother he`s called Ali . To the left to the right all my stuff what a bag of shite I`m so sorry that I used you Took your money And confused you . Britney Spears , you are so irreplaceable more

Resolved Question: Cutting down CO2 and cars?

Almost everywhere you go there is something about how to reduce your CO2 footprint. However, i can't help noticing ads for brand new cars that still run on petrol or diesel. Surely if they really wanted to slow down global warming, they shouldn't encourage people to buy cars (that, even though they are more ecofriendly than before, still give out pollution?). Is it just because of money again? more

Resolved Question: MARRIAGE ONE-LINER jokes?

Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that. At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" The other replied, "Yes I am, I married the wrong man." Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he's finished. Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his bachelor's degree and the woman gets her master's. A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" And the father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm still paying" Young Son: Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her? Dad: That happens in every country, son. Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; and then it was too late." Married life is frustrating. The first year of marriage, the man speaks And the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen. After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." The husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice." It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss. A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine." When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife is. A woman was telling her friend , "It is I who made my husband a millionaire." "And what was he before you married him." Asked the friend. The woman replied, " A billionaire". God says to Adam, "What would you like in a wife?" "Hmmm," says Adam, "I'd like her to be the most beautiful creature in the world. I'd like her to do whatever I tell her to. I'd like he to work hard, be smart, enjoy being with me." "Hmmmm", God says, "I can do it, but it'll cost you an arm and a leg." "Oh," says Adam, "Well what can I get for a rib?" more

Resolved Question: Hangover Ratings (I got this of a funny site)?

One Star Hangover (*) No pain. No real feeling of illness. You're able to function relatively well. However, you are still parched. You can drink 5 sodas and still feel this way. For some reason, you are craving a steak & fries. Two Star Hangover (**) Put your ad here! No pain, but something is definitely amiss. You may look okay, but you have the mental capacity of a staple gun. The coffee you are chugging is only increasing your rumbling gut, which is still tossing around the fruity pancake from the 3:00 AM Waffle House excursion. There is some definite havoc being wreaked upon your bowels. Three Star Hangover (***) Slight headache. Stomach feels crappy. You are definitely not productive. Anytime a girl or guy walks by you gag because her perfume or his cologne reminds you of the flavored schnapps shots your alcoholic friends dared you to drink. Life would be better right now if you were home in your bed watching Lucy reruns. You've had 4 cups of coffee, a gallon of water, 3 iced teas and a diet Coke --- yet you haven't peed once. Four Star Hangover (****) Life sucks. Your head is throbbing. You can't speak too quickly or else you might puke. Your boss has already lambasted you for being late and has given you a lecture for reeking of booze. You wore nice clothes, but that can't hide the fact that you only shaved one side of your face. (For the ladies, it looks like you put your make-up on while riding the bumper cars.) Your eyes look like one big red vein, and even your hair hurts. Your sphincter is in perpetual spasm, and the first of about five dumps you take during the day brings water to the eyes of everyone who enters the bathroom. Five Star Hangover, (*****) You have a second heartbeat in your head, which is actually annoying the employee who sits in the next cube. Vodka vapor is seeping out of every pore and making you dizzy. You still have toothpaste crust in the corners of your mouth from brushing your teeth in an attempt to get the remnants of the poop fairy out. Your body has lost the ability to generate saliva so your tongue is suffocating you. You don't have the foggiest idea who the hell the stranger was passed out in your bed this morning. Any attempt to defecate results in a fire hose like discharge of alcohol-scented fluid with a rare 'floater' thrown in. The sole purpose of this 'floater' seems to be to splash the toilet water all over your butt. Death sounds pretty good right about now... more

Resolved Question: Does any man believe this to be true.?

Getting married is very much like going to a continental restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that. At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" The other replied, "Yes I am, I married the wrong man." Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is really finished. Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his bachelor's degree and the woman gets her master's. A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" And the father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm still paying for it." Young Son: Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her? Dad: That happens in most countries, son. Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; and then it was too late. When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a ten-year married man looks happy - we wonder why. Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen. After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." And the husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice it." A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine." When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife. How do most men define marriage? A very expensive way to get your laundry done free. The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once. When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. - Sacha Guitry Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe. - Jackie Mason Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience. Send more

Resolved Question: what's your all time favourite?

advert you have seen over the years on TV? They say the citron car ad where the car turns into a transformer is no one but i love the tango advert,the one with the orange guy that slapped the kid across the face more

Resolved Question: Marketing translations?

Cracking an international market is a goal of most growing corporations. It shouldn't be that hard, yet even the big multi-nationals run into trouble because of language and cultural differences. For example, observe the following examples below. The name Coca-Cola in China was first rendered as Ke-kou-ke-la. Unfortunately, the Coke company did not discover until after thousands of signs had been printed that the phrase means "bite the wax tadpole" or "female horse stuffed with wax" depending on the dialect. Coke then researched 40,000 Chinese characters and found a close phonetic equivalent, "ko-kou-ko-le," which can be loosely translated as "happiness in the mouth." In Taiwan, the translation of the Pepsi slogan "Come alive with the Pepsi Generation" came out as "Pepsi will bring your ancestors back from the dead." Also in Chinese, the Kentucky Fried Chicken slogan "finger-lickin' good" came out as "eat your fingers off." The American slogan for Salem cigarettes, "Salem - Feeling Free," got translated in the Japanese market into "When smoking Salem, you feel so refreshed that your mind seems to be free and empty." When General Motors introduced the Chevy Nova in South America, it was apparently unaware that "no va" means "it won't go." After the company figured out why it wasn't selling any cars, it renamed the car in its Spanish markets to the Caribe. When Parker Pen marketed a ballpoint pen in Mexico, its ads were supposed to say "It won't leak in your pocket and embarrass you." However, the company mistakenly thought the spanish word "embarazar" meant embarrass. Instead the ads said that "It wont leak in your pocket and make you pregnant." An American t-shirt maker in Miami printed shirts for the spanish market which promoted the Pope's visit. Instead of the desired "I Saw the Pope" in Spanish, the shirts proclaimed "I Saw the Potato." Colgate introduced a toothpaste in France called Cue, the name of a notorious porno magazine. In Italy, a campaign for Schweppes Tonic Water translated the name into Schweppes Toilet Water. more

Resolved Question: here is my small business storie, share your business/entrenpeneur stories with me?

what u did, how? what u bought sold. this is me. at 10 i stole 2 bottles of lemonade and mars bars from my mums cupboards and sold glasses of lemonade to other kids on the street, also sold the mars bars, she encouraged this when she found out and it became a regular thing. i then set up a car washing business with my mate rich, we would charge £3 a time, every sat and sun. in 1990, £3 was a good rate for 15 mins work. then at school used to hire out video games then done 3 years at six form. started buying bulk crips ad chocalate bars and cans of drink, sold them face to face to the kids on the field. also got a car at 17 and every wed thurs fri and sat used to take kids to night clubs £25 a night done this for 2 1/2 years. i had rasised enough money to put deposit on a flat at 19, got a tenant in it and i got a job in london in finanace. did that for 2 years, a saved the money i made got another flat with tenant, started a video shop. now hav 4 flats and a limo service 2 more

Resolved Question: What car would you make out of CAKE?

If you haven't seen the Skoda advert then try looking on You Tube. It's the best ad out there at the moment. How delicious, you'd never get bored in a traffic JAM!!!! I think I'd like a Lambo made of carrot cake though ;) What would be your choice of car & cake? more

Resolved Question: Does anyone know what the tune is on the Renault "dancing car" is, please?

The tune and artist that I am looking for is featured on the Renault "dancing car" ad (the one in the parking lot). It's not shown now, but it was good at the time. Thank you for your help! more

Resolved Question: whats the name of that song that goes 'love your body..love your mind....love where u come from, ..or somethin

something like that. it's a male voice singing, and the chorus is 'time is on the wall...' it's on an ad for a car but im not sure which 1. more

Resolved Question: Adverts Targeting the victims not the criminals??

Have you seen the advert where someone shows theives that their window is left open, the gate in unlocked, theres jewellry left on the kitchen worktop, and also the ad where the man shows thieves that hes left his jacket on the back seat of his car along with some coins in the tray and his cd player (i think) in his glove box, and also the ad where they say don't advertise your mobile, ie, don't walk around talking on it etc. Why on earth are they making US be in the wrong for doing this. Surely they should be targeting the criminals. It makes my blood boil when they suggest that you shouldn't leave a window open, that you shouldn't leave a jacket in your car etc. They've got it all wrong. It should be aimed at criminals and saying 'don't rob other peoples possessions' surely????But WHY should WE have to hide things out of view. Why are we to blame when we have things stolen?? more

Resolved Question: Do you agree that cars, on average are cheaper on ebay than friday ad/exchange & mart/auto trader?

i'm in south east England, maybe it's different up north? Please state your Location more

Resolved Question: Shat ap!! A got pulled by the pigs right, It was well out of order wot do you think??? Soooo cannot believe it

Shat ap! Pigs pulled me right, an said you know how fast you was drivin? I said Yeah I was like doin 40 or summin or nuffin like its any of your business I mean Jackie Saintclare is out round the back of Morrisons with Erik the 50 year old virgin having sex for like the 4th time in 3 hours. I was with her and they start like sayin go away Vicky you shouldn’t be listenin or watching go do your boy friend. Then I like so skits out and totally started to hit her and punch then she like went and got her mum and said that I was hitting her when I was well like not. An then this Policeman sed do you have your driving licence with you and proof your insured. I sed Yeah, but the picture is like well out of date it was taken like 10 years ago when is was like 4 or summin. Josh and them started totally messin about with this like 40 year old women, well she was like 12 actually but they well started shouting at her and pushing her about. The pig want avin none of it an sed Driving Licence? I went Yeah im getting it, oh my god that is like well wrong what you just said to me…. He sed VICKY! Licence, if you do ave one please. So a pulls out me driving licence from the glove compartment. Butt it ad a Black man in his 80’s on it and it well ad 6 points on it Anyway a sed there you go an a Gives it the pig He sed Ok Vicky can you step out of the car and stand here away from traffic. A sed I aint even done nuffin, im well going to report you for this I mean like im out walking and you stop me. He sed Vicky we pulled you over while you were drivin this vehicle. I sed I don’t even have a car I’m how can Slappy said you have to be like 60 before you can get a car so there is like no way this is my car. He sed yes Vicky we know that that’s why you’re under arrest. So he grabs me by my arm and puts me in his car. I sed This is so unfair; I haven’t even been arrested today so I should like well get away with it!! All you want is a fishy finger off me init. more

Resolved Question: Marriage cases. funny?

CASE 1 Getting married is like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that. CASE 2 At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger??" The other replied, "Yes, I am. I married the wrong man." CASE 3 Before a man is married, he is incomplete. Then when he is married,he is finished. CASE 4 Marriage is an institution in which a man losses his! bachelor's degree and the woman gets her master's status. CASE 5 A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married??" And the father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying for it." CASE 6 Young son : "Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa, a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?" Dad : "That happens in most countries son." CASE 7 Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married, and then it was too late." CASE 8 A happy marriage is a matter of give and take; the husband gives and the wife takes CASE 9 When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a ten-year married man looks happy, we wonder why. CASE 10 Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen. CASE 11 After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." And the husband replied,"Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice it." CASE 12 A man inserted an 'ad' in the classified: "wife wanted" The next day, he received hundreds letters. They all said the same thing "You can have mine." CASE 13 When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing : either the car is new or his wife is new. CASE 14 A woman was telling her friend : "It is I who made my husband a millionaire." "And what was he before you married him?" the friend asked. The woman replied, "A multimillionaire." more

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